Blog Every Day in May: Day Twenty

So this is basically Day Sixteen Revisited. I guess I didn't look ahead enough when I made that post because when I blogged about something I'm trying to overcome about my "lot in life" I ended up addressing today's post, which is:

Day 20, Monday: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now.

Basically, if you go to Day Sixteen, you can see what the biggest struggle in my life is right now. But just so that I don't cop out and only post a link today, I'll share another struggle of mine.

I make this face a lot too /=

A smaller struggle that I deal with is vocal nodules (yup that same thing that plagued Julie Andrews and gave us the Ashlee-Simpson-SNL-hoedown). Not big on the strugglometer, but big enough that it impacts me daily. Basically vocal nodules are callouses on vocal chords. Much like a runner, soccer player, or dancer will get callouses on their feet, someone who uses their voice a lot or is genetically predisposed (or both in may case) can get vocal nodules.

I've had vocal nodules since I was about seven. I went to speech therapy once a month in middle school and early high-school. But it felt like I was stealing the EIP attention that someone else needed more, plus the techniques weren't things I could apply to daily life and still feel like "me."

I am loud, I am exhuberant, I express my enthusiasm through songs, cheers and shouts! And then the next day I can't talk. It was especially rough playing college soccer where being vocal and communicating have to happen loudly to make it across the field to teammates (not to mention post-game parties on the weekends where the music makes shouting to be heard a necessity). It was a weekly cycle of silence come Monday and Tuesday to slowly gain my voice back to lose it again.

I was briefly "addicted" to mentholated cough-drops but am now on the softer stuff.

These babies got me through college!

However, I still LOVE to sing. Especially hymns and worship music in church. I mean, I do vibe some mad Florence, Fall Out Boy and Julia Stone in the car, but making a joyful noise to the Lord is why music exists. So when I can't, or can only hit about 5 notes (and those rather quietly), it's a bummer. I'm trying to practice/play guitar a but more, just so I can express my musical urges in a way that doesn't further damage my voice (although usually playing guitar ends in me pretending to be Taylor Swift so I'm not sure that's a good thing to unleash upon this world).